How to protect my child's best interest


Both parents need to agree that children have the right to be protected from as much of the pain of their conflict as possible. 

Don't badmouth the other parent. 

Please don't speak disparagingly of your child's other, or allow anyone else to do so in his or her presence; your children are the embodiment of both of you.

Strive to be supportive of each other as parents to the children and of the other adults in their life despite differences they may have in views, beliefs, and tastes and lifestyles.

Don't drill your children for information about the other parent

Please don't ask the children to keep secrets from the other parent.

Respect the privacy of the other and don't question the children about the other parent's life. 

Agree  not to use the children as messengers.

Give your children permission to love both of you

Both parents agree that they not ask the children to choose between them knowing they have a right to give and receive love from each of their parents.

Don't fight with the other parent, especially not in front of the children

Please understand that there may be lifelong detrimental effects of arguing in front of the children;  ensure that they are not exposed to this. 

Agree that even a planned shared visit won’t take place if either parent doesn’t feel confident that the visit will be successful.

These are adult decisions, not child decisions

Agree that decisions and discussions regarding the children will not be made with them present or in hearing distance until both parents have agreed on the outcome of any discussions. 

The truth ...

Remind your children that the decision to separate was not in any way their fault and that their behavior could not have made you as parents separate or stay together.

The only truth your children need to know is that you love them, will protect them and how as parents you will care for them. 




01: Guide to family mediation

02: Financial Considerations

03: How to protect my child's best interest 

04: Children's reaction to separation